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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Somewhere in 'the randomness' land.....

So sad my penmanship isn't what it used to be, that it needs practice to return, just as my inactive brain

So sad my country is one that never gets anything right, but as hope feeds the gloomy mind, we will stand with lofty wins.

So sad all day I dream of what will be and what could have been. In dreamland, I weave beauty and sophistication, then I wake up and its all a blur.


So sad my sister is away, confined in her tiny room and her tiny office, trying to grasp the rubrics of marketing.

So sad all my brothers ever do is make me pull my hair. They force the nag out of calmness itself. Makes me surprised at how anger flashes in my eyes.

So sad I cannot give my mother all she wants right now. A husband to rock my world and a bebe to suckle at my bosom.

So sad I reach out to touch my future, a bright shiny pole in my visions, only to hear granddad tell me to wait some more.

A pity all these loom closer, all in a day's thoughts, as though I could grasp feelings and caress them.

My thoughts will forever be me, and I my thoughts. The way things must go.

I crave a lot but need nothing. Sometimes I want sophistication and wealth, and other times I dream of life like a village hermit.

Does the world really go round? Surely as the moon spins, the world really does. If this is true, then my thoughts are truly me.

I have searched for self purpose and the meaning of simplicity in complexity. I would like to give up searching at this point. But they have refused to agree.

Whatever gives life, feeds the soul. It also presents to it the will to live each day above ground, infusing tears and laughter as needed. The four ends of the world give meaning to this life, with protection and guidance. But where do they come from after life departs these four ends?

Questions I live with, answers I search for. Feelings I know, facts I have come to accept. For my thoughts wander through places I know nothing of, and come back to rest quietly on the beginning. This is just ME.

Yolanda.

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